I’m an adult with a job and a wife. If you saw me on the street, you’d assume I unwind with a vintage glass of merlot and a jazz record. But the truth is that in the back of my closet, behind my dress shirts and slacks, are a worn-out rash guard and something called an “anti-negativity helmet.” These aren’t part of some weird fetish or religious ceremony, they’re the “Aqua-cadet” uniform. What? Let me explain.
An Aqua-cadet is a loyal fan of Orange County’s courageous band of ska/rock superheroes “The Aquabats.” For 16 years, The Aquabats have played the most energetic, positive, and insane shows man has ever known. As a kid growing up during the mid-nineties ska boom, I was swept up into Orange County’s non-threatening version of the KISS Army. I regularly went to shows dressed in full Aquabat gear and skanked all night like it was a legitimate form of dance. I’ve discovered that once you’re a cadet, you’re always a cadet… no matter how much I’d like to deny that fact.
This is nothing against the band, who really is fantastic. There comes a point where you hit a certain age where you’d like to feel you’ve moved past wearing form-fitting neoprene clothes in public to prove how devoted you are. Yet, no matter how old I get, I know deep down I’m never going to be able to remove my Aqua-cadet ID card from behind my drivers license; the same place it’s proudly sat for the last 16 years.
